Because we hate people…..

Well, of course we don’t hate you.

I guess I should clarify. We hate people in movie theaters. Actually, just I hate people in movie theaters – Jim is amenable to sharing his movie watching experience with others. I, on the other hand, am an overly sensitive, easily offended, eye rolling, passive-aggressive pain in the ass in public. I sit and stew over how the person behind me is ruining the movie for me. I complain to Jim, thus ruining his movie watching experience. Meanwhile, the oblivious rude person behind us is having a wonderful time.

Here are some examples of behaviors that really get my panties in a wad at the movies:

• Yelling at the screen
• Open-mouthed popcorn chewing
• Bringing children who are obviously too young to sit through a two hour movie, then spending the entire time trying to keep them occupied, therefore missing the entire movie anyway.
• Kicking my seat.
• Insisting on sitting in the middle of the row, then getting up several times during the movie.

Honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I know this is my own issue and I’m the one who is actually ruining my evening most of the time. Only twice have I really been so offended that I either confronted the person or spoke to a theater staff person. Usually, the behavior is only merely annoying and I should really just try to ignore it.

But I’m that person, so I can’t.

Jim and I both love movies and we don’t want to give them up. So to guarantee us pleasant movie watching Jim did something ridiculous: he built us a movie theater in our basement.

The TV looks small, but it’s really just far away.

That’s right. When we could have been investing in our retirement, donating to the poor, or saving for our kids’ educations, we chose instead to create a room in our house that was completely unnecessary merely to avoid having to watch movies with anyone we haven’t hand-selected. (Also, so we can watch them in our pajamas, without paying a babysitter, and stop whenever we want to pee). He even built a platform so we could have two rows of seating. Fortunately, we already owned several of the components (furniture, most of the electronics, etc.) and paint, moulding, and a couple 2 x 4s don’t cost that much.

Some people love the experience of going to the theater, but I just want to get lost in the movie without distractions. Since I’m in education, and I’m merely adapting for my weaknesses (lack of patience, lack of tolerance, etc.), I prefer to call it “differentiated media ingestion.”

Next, maybe we’ll turn our dining room into a recital hall so we can avoid rude people at concerts.